Why Coach?
Posted: Sunday, December 06, 2009
by Michael Gaffley
flatlinetochange
I salute you coach. I tip my hat to your athletes and players. I want to however, pin my colors to the coaching mast. I just love to see how animated you become as the play intensifies. I get energized to see most of the children and youth adore you. You have become a god for some.
Coach, do you know what a bench warmer is? Well sometimes I think that my child is a bench warmer. See coach, game after game after game my child just sits on the bench and never gets to play. Do you even know that my child is there? Do you know that my child is there because of the game?
Sometimes you raise your voice and I know that is just to emphasize a point. Sometimes I can see that you are angry or upset because the play that you called was not executed according to your instructions. I know, I know coach, that it is just your passion and commitment that gets sparked into a white flame of momentary vehemence.
Coach, I am a parent. Coach I am present as a spectator at every game. I have to leave work, home and family in order to be at the game. I love my child and I want the best for my child. I come to watch every game. It is painful to see children play and their play gets interrupted by serious adults who coach a sport. I have seen this at both middle school and high school level. The children on the bench almost never get a chance to play. How are they to learn the game? How are they to gain confidence? How are they to learn team spirit? I know of a child who sat on the bench for two years. Yes, two years without playing one minute in a game. This was the state of affairs at private and parochial schools. I cannot speak for the public schools, but would like to know if this is the case in public schools as well.
It is sad to see coaches who utilize all the technicalities of the game like letting the clock run out, wasting time, and conceding penalties in order to waste time. This is just bad sportsmanship. Coach let them play the game, coach. Coach; please don't teach them how to win on sneaky technicalities. Coach, it is a sport. School is a time for learning. Coach, it is a time to have fun. Winning is not everything; learning is.
Coach I am not criticizing you. Coach I cannot do a better job than you. I just ask you to put my child in coach. Please let my child enjoy the time at middle school and at high school. They have lots of time to play competitively, professionally and win at all costs. Now however, is the time for them to learn and to decide whether or not they like the game? I do not want to see a sad face again. I do not want my child to be ridiculed by others and to become stigmatized as a bench warmer. I do not want to drive back home in silence. I do not want to cry because I sympathize with the pain and disappointment of my child. I would much rather cry because he played and they won.
I would really like to know what other parents are thinking. I would really like to know if you think that I am just another crazy parent. Thank you for taking time to read these brief musings of a concerned parent. Your response is greatly appreciated. If you agree or want to add to these thoughts I will then go ahead and draft an open letter to middle and high school coaches.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)read this and think on what you have expressed here.Well, thanks for asking for clarification - part of my comments didn't come through what I thought I put was I hope many coaches read this and think on what you have expressed here. The part that hit me most was about the bench warmers - why, when the game is a run away win can't they put some of those kids in and make their year? I was not good in team sports myself. I ice skated and that worked! Thanks for writing this piece and not sure where the first part of my sentence went....Marijo I did not understand your comment to "read this and think on what you have expressed here" Please help me understand.I am SO Sorry -see above and SO glad you asked - the other part looked terrible but I left it in so readers would know what we were chatting about (Mary Jo - dad got cute with the spelling)
Hi Michael. I can feel the sadness and the disappointment your child felt and you as his dad. Why can't coaches think that it is just a game and other players be given the chance. I don't have any children but I understand your point of view. Thanks for sharing this to us. I would love to hear what the response is from the coach. Happy Holidays to you and yours, ~Nenita~
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